Monday, January 04, 2010
School started.Glad to see all my lovely people again. (:
But new timetable not so good.Like we can have break time up to 4 hours until the next lesson...so wrong,i rather go home.Something good is thursday lesson start at 2pm,so we can go crazy on wednesday night. (:
I am sleepy already.Its a good thing,i can sleep early.
Goodnight people! (:
I blogged at; 10:42 PM
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Yesterday.
Had a wonderful night dealing with keyboard warriors with my lovely people.
I dont like to hide behind computer screen,prefer face to face la.No choice. (:
So you are a keyboard warrior?Let's fight in real life.Want to play dirty?Bring it on...i also can play dirty.But the problem is,the other party might not be able to take it. (:
After that went to sijun house.Share the joy with her.LOL.
Was awake the whole night,trying to stay awake and not doze off.Till 6.30am,we went to Bangkit for breakfast. (:
And i just reach home like 1 hour plus ago.Was suppose to bath and sleep.But my body is not listening to me,it just refused to rest.So i am super fresh and so not sleepy now.
So if i am still not tired later,im gonna meet up with nic and yiwen. (:
I blogged at; 10:09 AM
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Okay.I will be out for the whole day tomorrow,attending J's salon party and meeting up with friends for countdown.
So here i am typing this,my last post for 2009.
Its gonna be a long post.So ya...bear with it.LOL.
Year 2009.
Went through alot of ups and downs.
School work getting tough as we went through our 2nd year for this course,as i struggle between school and relationship problem. Why? Bcause the guy i used to love deeply start to neglect me.I tried to pick myself up and tell myself "i am thinking too much."
So it goes on like that,exams over,the guy i used to love flying over to aussie.While he's enjoying over there,i found out things he lie to me.He used to date me out because he wanted to see me so much,but he start to lie...saying that he's staying home,and no - he went out with his friends instead.I found out all these from the girls blog.Pictures shows eveything ya.Then I start to get very paranoid.
During that period,relationship with friends not that good either,because i start to keep everything to myself and stop going out with them.Im really sorry to all my friends...i just want to tell you guys how much i love you all.Im like a lost sheep...i know.And i dont talk to my family much too.
And then attachment start.I went through alot,i just feel like giving up everything and quit school.But thanks to my friends again...i managed to complete my attachment.I've been trying to focus and trying to listen to what i really want to do.So i realise,this passion i got in me,i finally decided to do what i like.So yes,i will be flying off next year...to either London or Shanghai...to do what i really want.
Then my health getting worst too.I just feel that everything get worst including my health.Fever on and off,headahes,and insomnia.When im healed.I start to get so serious that i thought im really sick,but in the end,its not that my body is not well...its my heart.The thought of it...scary.It sounds like im crazy.
I thought things might get better when he's back from aussie,because i lie to myself and forgive him,every lie he made.But im wrong...very wrong.He start to get very uneasy with me around,and start to panic when i am near his handphone.Then he refused to hold my hands,hug me or kiss me.
And i realise he get very close to another girl.I asked him,he deny everything...started to shout and scold me.Photos prove everything...they are holding hands and clinging onto each other.He claim that they are friends.But do friends behave like that?So when we used to hold hands and cling on each other,we are friends?
Thats it.I know i will be losing my love...the guy i used to love so much.And he ask for a break up.I do everything i can to save this relationship.I wait for him under his house,i gave him time but at the same time still care for him,i show him my love,i forgive everything he did with that girl,i beg him.He also did everything...he did everything that hurt me so much.I beg him,break down infront of him...but he scream and shout at me.He went off riding his bike,my right feet getting all numb because the wheel just rolled over it he didnt notice.I didnt scream out pain or anything,my heart hurt so much i didnt feel the pain of my feet at all.Feeling all mentally and emotionally tired,i let him go...we break up on the 8th december.
Like what we chinese say,paper cannot wrap fire.Yes,my family know everything.It hurt me so much to see them suffer with me.When im sad,they feel sad too.I dont want them to suffer with me.I got very stress and i start to go out everyday,staying out late and staying over with friends.
Well until now...i try to move on...its not easy.But from the bottom my heart,i really want to thank every single one of you.I know i am being stubborn and irritating at times,but still you guys bear with me.
And i want to thank my family...espcially mummy.Im sorry i made you so sad,i know it hurts you to see me going through all these shit...but im going to be fine.Trust me,i can do it.I love you mummy.
To mr teo,i just dont want to be selfish.Its unfair to you.So let's just wait till 2010,when things get better ya.
To the guy i used to love deeply.I love you and also hate you.Loving you was a mistake.Now i know everything i do for you cant be compare to a new girl you know.Even my love for you is not enough,because you choose to let go.Everything you say are lies but nothing.Everything you do is nothing too,because you never try to understand what i want...its a simple thing call love.
I just want year 2009 to end quickly.Its a bad year,really bad year.
I want and need a new start.So year 2010,here i come...
I blogged at; 2:57 AM
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Christmas.Its over.
3 more days to a new year,a new start.
谢谢那些伤害, 我看见了世界原来是这么的肮脏, 人心是如此的丑陋.
残忍的人, 选择伤害别人, 善良的人, 选择伤害自己.
而我要做的就是更好的保护自己.
热情是错的, 冷漠才能保护自己.
痛了, 伤了, 懂得了, 长大了.
I blogged at; 2:59 AM
Friday, December 25, 2009
MERRY CHRISTMAS MY LOVELY PEOPLE! (:
Just came back home this morning around 7.30am.
Slept alittle while,and im going out again in 15 minutes time.LOL.
Christmas eve.
Dinner at xin wang cafe with my family,and off to town to meet up with yiwen.
Countdown.Supper.Movie.
Watched Avatar - ITS FUCKING AWESOME!Okay,i totally love this movie...worth my 10 bucks.LOL.
Not bad for this year. (:
At least got some plan and activities.
Will be having Christmas dinner with my family too. (:
This Christmas,my only wish this year - I just want my family and friends to be happy,no suffering,no sadness with me or anything...and the B&B group (Bitch and Bastard group) will suffer for the whole 2010 year.
I blogged at; 1:42 PM
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Its been 15 days.
So far so good.
Also get to know a new counsellor,he's pretty good. (:
I have nothing to hide at all.I am not the one flirting/seducing other guy despite knowing he already got a gf.No,not me.
I dont have to private my blog like her - http://kawaiiwiinter.blogspot.com/
And oh,this is her facebook - http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=763299922&ref=ts
She's working for starhub,at Plaza Singapura.
If everything i've done for the past 1 year plus cant be compare to a slut like this,i have nothing to say.You dont repent at all eh?Great.
2 more days to Christmas. (:
楊丞琳 - 雨愛
窗外的天氣
就像是 你多變的表情
下雨了 雨陪我哭泣
看不清 我也不想看清
離開你 我安靜的抽離
不忍揭曉的劇情
我的淚流在心裡
學會放棄
聽雨的聲音 一滴滴清昕
你的呼吸 像雨滴滲入我的愛裡
真希望雨能下不停
讓想念繼續 讓愛變透明
我愛上給我勇氣的 Rainie Love
窗外的雨滴 一滴滴累積
屋內的濕氣 像儲存愛你的記憶
真希望雨能下不停
雨愛的秘密 能一直延續
我相信我將會看到 彩虹的美麗*
冷冷的空氣
很仔細 我無法呼吸
一萬顆 雨滴的距離
很徹底 讓愛消失無息
屋內的濕氣 像儲存愛你的記憶
真希望雨能下不停
雨愛的秘密 能一直延續
我相信我將會看到 彩虹的美麗
I blogged at; 12:47 PM
